Link

Love your Leicesters Gayness

Come one come all (local folks) I dont much care for outsiders. Its all about gay leicester! You puffs and dykes get over here, read what i have to say and abuse my forum

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Something i do love

The glorious world of stereotypes. Simply amazing
Tonight i saw this wonderful example of lesbian mutton. Her skin was aging and riddled with something, chronic porridge syndrome? This disasterous unkempt hair. A mass of fading blonde frizz. Bobbing around as she spasmed to micheal jackson, perhaps she was proving she could dance. Theres no perhaps about it. She was proving she well and truly couldnt. And what was she wearing. I dont full remember, im sure the human brain blots out things that are visually damaging. But it was blue and utterly council estate
She looked at me while she was fitting, and hit someone. Then apologised, saying something along the lines of, Im mad. For one thing, if your mad you dont need to tell people,if you do, your not mad. Secondly, the kind of mad she actually is, you dont realise.
Ive never seen her before. And i hope i never do again. She was a classic [new parks, example] of a member or the aging lesbian clump [more rotting than aging though]

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Cliches and friendship circles Part 1

Im a pretty well traveled dyke for my years, and I've noticed things that stick from smallish city to small city.
But I don't care that its the same all over. Im just concerned with Leicester.
I have determined that the scene consists of certain groups, with there own rather lame dynamics. Therefore I shall explain:

Firstly and most pathetically we have the 'Butchish/Androgynous Clump' A bunch of perhaps slightly aging lesbians, I don't mean old old, just not 18. They like to think there a bit 'L word' and most likely slag it off a lot ironically. How it works: they're rarely with partner (this group comes later) merely for the facts there all a bit ugly and bland so they don't get a lot of action, any relationships within the group destroy it as its all too close nit and everything falls apart (coupled with the fact that they're ill placed unfounded egos make touching another member degrading) and once out and about any women interested [could happen?] in them are put off, assuming [the underlying tension of 'friendly' touching] that in fact one of them must be with her. This obvious heat is because even though 'Dee' one of the members, is too good for any of the others relationship wise doesn't mean she hasn't slept with [and does now and then in drunkenness] Kim Lisa Judy Rachel etc etc etc
Utterly tragic

Next we have the gay boy and his fag hag, with perhaps one or more vague interchangeable faces. The gay boy is typical, tony and guy brand hair, tight tees, fake tan, as scarily insecure as shallow but pretty funny.
Then we have our fag hag, sometimes the bane of our poor lesbians hearts and pants. Scarily beautiful and feminine (unless the gay boy is lower class. Unstyled hair, not much fashion sense, goofy. Then she will be older fatter yet less irratating) They dance all night, and talk about boys and do poppers and look stunning.
Then we have the plus one/two. This person will be either 1) gaybois latest adorable shag piece 2) second fag hag, not usually as pretty, never as close, probably louder and sluttier than 1st in line.
This pairing works well, as they are so alike [Probably live together] unless the silly breeder falls for him, he gets a serious boyfriend. ..Or she does

This next one is excruciatingly close by at all times, yet never is the same faces [Except in the case of one pair *ahem*] I am of course talking about the bi-couple. Not that this is so much a group, but it makes me laugh and I cant leave it out, its such an archetypical part of bent life.
Rarely the male is the bi one [although give him ten years he'll be married and longing for some cock] they sit in the bars quietly smooching and taking up our seats. Not so much infuriating as what comes next.
Then you get to streetlife, and they [usually unsuccessfully] try to find a suitable female. The girl might get a snog, or a quickie in the loo. But boy left with his hands in his pants im afraid.
These, lets face it, blantant hetros, are usually either pretty damn attractive, or vile and old. Usually the latter.

Newbies: These are mostly young, but not always. They're dress sense is undisappointly always dire so bad they're often even mistaken for straights. If one is good looking, he or she will be adopted by a different group of friends usually, by that point, an ex. The rest are left to dwindle Dress sense improves if you watch, but as they say, the clothes don't make the man


Queer couples: This grouping is rather like the fag hag-fag dynamic. Except they are together. A lot of couples, once the 3 month mark hits are as good as married and you never see again. But for those brave folks who dare a public relationship [or perhaps are so bland no one cares] this is how it is. They are the centre of the universe. Anyone invited in is lucky, but never quite welcome. With couples it is always the same. No matter what orientation. Lord knows why they go to streetlife, the old faces avoid them now as the conversation is usually soppy and finishes [half way through] with oodles of kisses. They don't dance, they don't drink much, and they sit in the corner cuddling till about 12, then its time to back to their flat have sex and a nice cuppa.

Then you have the beautiful people. This is the last entry in the saga for now children.
This is a strange one. They all seem to hang around together, but if you get closer, its all bitching and hating and you sort of get a big lump of people in pairs. On the outside, it looks like where you want to be. Money, good looks, hot young women [or men if that's your thing] popularity. But secretly they all hate each other and hate to be out done. There's usually the loud outrageous one whose as deep as a tray, and not actually that good looking, but is funny and dresses well so fits in. Then there's the quieter really hot one, whose job is to look good, simply. The rest of just really mutations of this, some smarter and bitchier, some with more money, flat. But at the end of the night, just you look. How many of them stayed together? Its not friendship, its the result of an obligation to looking good.

There you have it. The scene in a few easy steps. That's probably not it, and this was all written spur of the moment so maybe when I find more examples I'll write it out again better organised and such

Friday, March 11, 2005

I notice

You little tubturds arent making this very fun
Notice my lack of posts? Your fault! This is your site to, so get on board
The other night i was doing my usual scene thing, drinking and watching people.
Im sure you've all now heard the rumours that pondlife is closing no? *note- rhetoric is dumb* What do you think about it. *see, im leaving the question mark out in a vain attempt to hide my hideous use of rhetoric. Makes me look pathetic*
Well I think, its a pack of shit. How many times over the many years of my outings have i heard this, i dread to count. I would waste a few days
Mostly i am just shocked at peoples reactions. Like what they think matters anyway.

Ive noticed most peoples views consist of, 'It was bound to happen, its a shit hole. but oh no what shall we do, we'll all be condemed to quebec'

'It doesnt matter, boy george is opening a club here' *FYI Yeah right*

'Oh no, what are we going to do' *high pitched, new chicken gay boi reaction*

You gossip mongers, you all believe what ever your spoon fed. So please feel free to go to the forum and spew, cos i enjoy reading your lame opinions, so i can laugh

Yes you bovines,
click here

Sunday, February 27, 2005

A forum to end all forums

Just go check it out, and any posts relating to finding a mate, will, repeat will be deleted

You can bitch [amatuely] about everyone too
Link

Saturday, February 26, 2005

The internet for lesbians

On reflection, do us lesbians consider ourselves highly intellectual and humourless? Or is it that we are misrepresented by the wording or other non dykey folk?
All we have is gaydargirls. Trying to find a fun entertaining dyke site out there, that isnt concerned with frantically hooking me up with some soggy minger, with bland converse? For fear, that shock horror, i might have to spend a month alone, or not be so closeted and loserish that i cant venture into a gaybar and find a shag. Its really a very hard task.
The rainbow network is far too political for my liking, and still the message boards are primarily concerned with hooking oneself up.
There are some reasonable enough sites out there, pinklemonz, is alright, again perhaps a little too political
Like most good lesbian experiences, this one doesnt last long enough, i actually will link this one, cos i want you to visit it http://redcherrylips.com/home.html the fact that it doesnt take itself so seriously i like. And we do have a humourous side after all

Im sure there all a few more good enough sites out there, if you want to big up a site, let me know, also if you really want to verbally bitch slap one im just as interested [more] in your comments.

There you are, you have a place where you can hear the thoughts from lesbians who are similar to yourself. If you arnt a bookish uni student lesbian. [Dont get me wrong now, i love to find out about me lezza heratige now and then and like to keep up with gay politics, on occasion, but sad, ever so overdone dyke poems, count me out] So if you are cool and sexy like me, you now can feel represented. Bow down and worship me

Ps, heres a few other sites to check out:

http://www.angelfire.com/grrl/angrydyke/ a bit lame, but reminds us that being is a lesbian, isnt about being sensible

http://www.technodyke.com/ this site tries a bit too hard, but is worth a look

http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/just4fun/ some jokes, not all funny but i need lightheartedness



Oh, and just in case you thought i was being over dramatical about the way lesbians are represeted, check this baby out:
http://courses.lib.odu.edu/engl/jbing/577-lesbian.htm

Enjoy

Friday, February 25, 2005

How dark things seem with a dash of alcohol

Tidings one and all, I have more musings for thou.
I have re-learned a great lesson. Fat people really are as bad as they seem. They have to be triply obnoxious for their triply large frames. As are geeky first time gay boy scholars, enjoying an openly virginal 'public house ambiance' crying queerly as he uncovers his first free bar porn. 'his erect penis, is so arousing to me' Steaming up his rather outdated specs, and dancing shamelessly along with the other phags to bad camp music in his office type attire, looking sorely out of place.

What is it with freak brigades also? Some looking normal, but with a stitch or several missing upstairs, or are genetic cruelties swaying to and fro in the pissed up bass. Lonely together and lonely apart. They truly call out for harsh pranks. And one did not disappoint!
Drama running aplenty, with one too many wkd's guzzled and a little more sweat than is acceptable, a night surely to be pushed to the back of ones mind, along with the stereotypical 'older' lezza aunts mashing there deformed bodies caped in drab colours to a numbing mix of dance and unrecognizable dull lyrics.

[Perhaps I am disgusted by this because of my subconscious fear, that I, with a few more years and a little less vision, slowly regress, almost easily into one of those I so despise?]

The evening brings to light some age old thoughts aswell, what is it with homosexual relationships and there desperate need for validation and so many more light years of emotion packed into one week. Are we missing something? I can say with conviction that I have never fallen pray to this, but I see it happen week after week, night after night in fact. Where they are so utterly in love, and last names have not even been exchanged. As an example, please do this for yourself, think of your scene friends. You know the sort, those who are ever so excited to see you when you happen to stroll in, but never really hang out with pre/post club. How many of those peoples surnames can you muster? Point proven.
So yes, in this unstable world that is queer, things come and go so fast. Faces you saw every Wednesday without fail, now you fail to see. [If you even noticed]. Relationships once declared forever, muster up, responses such as 'huh? When was that? She went out with her?! But she's with Kerry now!' Only months later.
Call it passionate? Call it desperation? Just sounds all too familiar to me

Departure and gifts

Because I have to leave shortly and wont be able to make 5 minutely posts [sic] I'm leaving you with a present. Cos I'm just that sort of lesbian

My half assed review

Because I value my opinion, and wish to read it over and over, here is a review of the lesbian dating site. thepinksofa.com. I'm not linking cos if you want to visit it, and cant decipher from that, then giving you anymore information is a hazard to the public. In fact, stop reading now.

Well back to the point, I'm probably pretty under qualified to write this review, and I have never purchased there full service (perhaps that makes me more mentally stable though) but from what I've gathered, to send messages, they have to compromise of sending each other pre filled banter, which always consists of, 'You don't seem to have full membership, why not buy it and we can chat?' And upon receiving a message, here is a possible reply. 'I would love to chat to you, however I'm a cheap bitch and don't have full membership. If you buy it for me, we can chat'
I'm not joking, there actually are several messages with things like that
Another thing that bugs me is that it logs you out several times a minute. You have to ask yourself, is this torn worn pink sofa worth the effort. Blantantly, no. There's no girls on there you'd actually WANT to message, so don't fork out for the membership. Only good point is the forums, interesting topics. Downfall, post starts out well, then 'sweet' lesbians have to come in with PC bull and pussy it all up. Get an opinion!
Oh and articles get deleted too quickly.

that's my view, like it or love it

Hilarity


This site, helped me through some tough, laugh-less times

*cant restrain the snigger*

Go enjoy

www.mycathatesyou.com

Oh and they really do

Scagfish

Still wondering about things I hate? Im sure you are...I hate straight guys. I try to befriend them, and they just cant help but be vile and perv.
*notice*
You all can go fuck yourself
Also another observation, people are stupid. If you look at obvious fake profiles on certain sites, no I lie, all (bar gaydargirls, where the tits are all very saggily [sadly] quite real) These profiles have soooo many views, and probably as many messages. Your all plank wods, and probably men. But no, go ahead and message them, you'll probably find your soul mate. Another hairy horny aging guy. Then you can go out into the real world, and quite literally, unleash yourself onto the lesser spectrum of the female species. Cos thats all you'll get.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

Things I Hate, Or Hate To Love

  1. I hate the fact that i sometimes run out of things to hate
  2. I hate that the cubjugs im writing about will never effing read this
  3. I hate loser women
  4. I hate women with no self respect
  5. I hate people who dont do things my way
  6. I hate people
  7. I hate straight people
  8. I hate when people say sorry
  9. I hate when people try to understand me
  10. I hate freaks
  11. I hate music by black 'street' men
  12. I hate knowing what people are thinking
  13. I hate having to share
  14. I hate not getting what i want
  15. I hate any signs of weakness
  16. I hate tomatoes
  17. And i hate running out of time for talking about things i hate

Mystery drugs and sick breath

Ever had a song that stuck out so clearly in your mind, for the simple fact it represents a utterly surreal moment or space of time in your life. Now I'm not one to dwell on things [cough] but I can honestly say everytime I hear lets get it started, it will play in my head as slightly distorted and wind blown. Wham, I'll be back in streetlife, grinning like a Cheshire cat watching my friends wobble around me, literally I'm sure. Then dancing and all the faggots and snob dykes melting away around me, and that lovely fuzziness that comes with being off your face.
A picture that sticks with me, is blonde, almost ginger eye lashes. It looks wrong. He looked wrong. And his one eyelid was struggling to open. And vile troy trying to kiss me. And another ginger guy with vomit breath, and some kind of speech impediment I think. Anyway he was sloshed and kept producing me fags.
Lets call this girl, Stax, I have my reasons. She is very stupid. Some woman, we'll call her Stu (no reasons) was pilled up and pouncing, for lack of a better word, on little, rather naive, Stax, we couldn't help Stax, and Stax wouldn't help herself. Lots of queeny typical gay judging went on, we didn't save Stax, perhaps she didn't want to be saved. I don't think I'll ever find out if little stax went home with Stu lady who looked like a budget horror over sized tigger. Despite her hushed protests. And I doubt I'll ever care
That 'Japan' man, who is at the best of times good for a laugh, was drunk and trying to hard. That sort of thing makes me feel sorry, sorry that someone of reasonable worthiness could be so, well, pathetic. Oh perhaps a reconsideration is in order. He's not that worthy
Yes, this all was rather detatched. At least the ringing has ceased.

Harassment and being ignored

Your all fickle barstards you know. Some of you wont leave me alone, and some would be most happy if I was alone. Oh hi, you don't have a clue what im talking about do you? Well im a spiky dyke, so I don't care. So I'll continue
Ring ring ring goes the phone, I unplug it, I take the battery out, and still ring ring ring ring ring RING RING RING
oh and there it goes again
then at work, I sit there, and I could dance on the table and no one would look. Unless I leave one minute early, then suddenly all the boss men know who I am
I like having italic, im used to texting, and the lack of that form of expression is wounding. And so is correct use of the space key

*damn phone again*
I like anonymity really, it lets me run wild with bitching about people i know. I suppose i still would anyway. Im not a pussy. Like im sure your dying to know who keeps ringing me, lets call it, madrid. Madrid is frankly mad. Madrid is exhusting, self absorbed and in love, with madrid [Phone]. Dont get me wrong, i like madrid. when its mouth is closed. Oh yes, and anyone who knows madrid.... Everything you hear is true.




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